Didja-ever?
Sat, 14 Aug 1999
Did you ever wake up one crystal clear morning, look out the
window and know it was going to be one of those days.
The sun is just peaking up, a brisk offshore breeze is
blowing through the trees and the air is sweet, full of the
scent of morning glories. It's going to be a great day at
the beach. Your favorite website said so the night before
and you went to bed pondering whether to cut work or not. In
the interest of being responsible you check your office
phone mail and low and behold, there's a message from your
boss.
It seems that the project you were working on has finally
gone into production. The bean counters have declared it a
huge success and it is sure to make the company a fortune.
Your boss is so grateful he tells you to take the week off
and have a good time. He claims he shouldn't be telling you
this but you name has been put before the Board of Directors
in nomination for a Vice Presidents position. Starting nut
is $250,000, with annual stock options that will make you a
millionaire in 2 years.
You leap out of bed and head for the beach. On the way you
stop for a cup of coffee and drive up to the drive in window
of "Brew Thru and Coffee Too." Ouila!!! You just happen to
be the 100,000th customer and the manager comes out to hand
deliver your order and a certificate saying you get free
eats and beverages for a year. On top of that, the coffee is
great and the place just started carrying Krispy Kreme
donuts.
You arrive at your favorite point break and pull right into
the first parking slot. You think the surf must suck,
because there's no one there. It looks flat until a tasty
school of waves comes swimming into the lineup, breaking
ever so perfectly with hollow headhigh precision. The waves
are perfect for performance type surfing, but mistakenly
you just brought your longboard. You notice a fin sticking
out of the trash dumpster where someone has obviously left a
broken shortboard. You yank it out to find it's not broken.
In fact it's a brand new thruster perfect for the schwackin'
conditions unfolding in the water.
You wax the new board noting the finish is superbly done and
wonder why your initials are stenciled on the deck? The new
leash fits you perfectly and when you launch yourself into
the shorebreak, the board floats you like a barge and
paddles like the wind. A completely waveless lull allows you
to get outside dry headed, barely breathing hard. The water
is crystal clear, you can see the bottom which is 10 feet
below you.
Another set approaches and you wait for the best one. Not
sure of your lineup, you paddle diagonally across the peak
toward the pit and stand up in one fluid motion already
jamming a spray spewing curtain, the result of the round
house turn that sets you back across the peak racing the lip
to what appears to be an endless razor thin and ruler
straight wall. The board is lightning fast and so sensitive
it seems to react just to your thoughts. The first section
is a speedy dumping machine that has you tucking into the
slot with barely 3 feet of clearance over your head. The
acceleration of the section blows you out of the collapsing
tube, spray dripping off your face, but already your psychic
surfboard is angling up to smash the lip broadside as the
momentum carries you into the air for just a fraction of a
second before you head straight down the face setting up for
a huge carving bottom turn that snaps you right back out on
the wall. Five times you repeat this activity, each time
the wave embraces your skill and honors your waveriding
chops.
After an entire day of similar type waves, you rack the new
board on your car and head home. The freeway is empty.
At dusk you pull into your driveway and walk up to the door
which opens suddenly. Standing there is your beautiful wife
of 5 years. She is dressed in simply the sexiest lingerie
you've ever seen. Her emerald green eyes sparkle with lust
and the look on her face is one you've never seen
before....so full of animal desire you pop a woody
immediately. In the next 5 hours she takes you to
dimensions of hot monkey love that you've never experienced.
She is insatiable, you are omnipotent. Beneath the sheets
your bodies merge in an incredible war to destroy each other
with sexual desire. She wins. Gratefully you surrender.
You drift off to the soundest sleep you have ever
experienced, dreaming dreams that are remarkably just like
the day you just had.
Didja ever do this?
Nah...... me neither. But I'm always hopeful. :^)
-Foon
